Once upon a time, in a less scientific age than ours, astrology was a respected study, based on ancient and empirically compiled principles and used by the learned for greater insight not only into the future, but into the soul. With the coming of the Age of Enlightenment, and the increase in man's knowledge of the material universe, it seemed for a time that studies such as astrology, in company with other symbolic maps of the cosmos, had become anachronisms—pieces of superstitious nonsense which reflected a more ignorant and gullible era. But surprisingly, astrology, despite its detractors, has refused to go the way of the flat earth, the conjuring of demons, and the turning of lead into gold. It is alive and well, growing in popularity, and once again meriting the respect of intelligent minds—for it has been brought into the modern era through our increasing knowledge of psychology and of the inner nature of man. Subjected to many centuries of suppression and ridicule, astrology has outproven and outlasted its opponents, and eloquently demonstrates that it has something of great value to offer the modern individual seeking self-understanding.
In this horoscope analysis we have endeavoured, using the insights of astrology and psychology combined with the tools of advanced computer technology, to offer you an astrological portrait which is uniquely and individually focussed and which aims at providing greater self-knowledge. This is not fortune-telling astrology, but rather, psychological astrology, developed to as deep and sophisticated a level as is possible within the perimeters of computer interpretation. No computer can perform the task of an experienced human astrologer. But we think you will find this analysis a surprisingly profound and subtle interpretation of the complex dynamics at work within you.
Shakespeare once wrote that all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players. In a sense, your birth horoscope is a metaphor for the individual play, complete with stage set, cast of characters, and story, which lies at the core of your life journey. It might be useful for you to remember the metaphor of the theatre as you read through the various sections of your astrological portrait, because it can help you to understand the real meaning of fate as it is reflected by astrology. Fate does not lie in your being subjected to random preordained events. It lies in the cast of characters which represent the deepest needs, conflicts and aspirations which lie within you. No person can be other than himself or herself; and every life experience, whether tiny and transient or major and transformative, reflects in some way the character of the individual.
II. Your Psychological Type
The rich array of individual attributes portrayed in your birth horoscope is set, as it is with everyone, against the backdrop of a certain temperament bias. We might call this bias your psychological "type", for it is a typical or characteristic way of responding to the situations life brings you. No one begins life whole or perfect, and all people have certain areas of strength—sophisticated and well-adapted inner characters—to help them deal with challenges, conflicts and problems. Likewise, all people have certain areas of weakness—inner characters who are underdeveloped, neglected and troublesome.
Your psychological type does not remain static and unchanging through the whole of your life. There is something within all of us—whether we call it the unconscious, the Self, or the soul—which strives toward balance and completeness, and which tries to integrate into our lives all those qualities or inner characters which have been neglected or undervalued. At certain important junctures in life, it is as though some central core, deeper and wiser than the conscious "I", draws us into conflicts which enable us to develop our weaker areas, so that we can become more complete as human beings. Thus you will find that, incorporated in the following paragraphs about your psychological type, are some suggestions about how you might facilitate this inner movement toward a more balanced perspective on life. Life does this for us, sooner or later. But sometimes it is more rewarding and less problematic if we cooperate with the process.
a. The gifts of objectivity and civilised behaviour
You possess the gift of a clear, strong and objective mind, and you are a lover of truth and integrity in all your dealings. You will always favour reason over chaos, and principles over personal reactions. But there is considerable conflict within you—a dilemma between your rational, detached spirit and your intense and sometimes overpowering feeling. Another way of describing your nature might be to say that you tend to live in your head—because it seems safer, more civilised, and more "decent"—yet your heart often contradicts what your mind tells you you "ought" to feel, leaving you confused and vaguely guilty about "bad" or "selfish" reactions. Although you may not be an intellectual in the conventional sense of the word, you are naturally quick and articulate, and possess an impressive capacity to assess, weigh and analyse diverse facts and ideas objectively and fairly. This has probably earned you the reputation of being broad-minded, reflective, ethical and considerate of others' points of view. You are also an excellent planner and can transform chaos into order with the penetrating power of your mind. What you do not wish others to know about you, and what you often try to hide from yourself, is that your real feelings give you a completely different and much more subjective picture of life and of others—and these neglected feelings are often more genuinely perceptive than your usually reliable mind.
b. Objectivity struggles with the power of emotional needs
You tend sometimes to overvalue the gifts of the mind, and as a result you may betray your own needs and lose contact not only with what is right for you personally, but with what is right for others as well. Because you look at the general pattern, you are liable to miss essential needs in yourself which may vary from one situation to another. Your emotional nature is powerful, raw, and extremely sensitive; and it may periodically throw you into depressed moods, fits of inexplicable irritability or anger, or feelings of loneliness and melancholy which you are unable to analyse or explain. And you may also overlook another dimension of the realm of the heart which you fear so much: those mystical feelings of longing for letting go and experiencing a more infinite cosmos of love and serenity. Personal love and mystical longing lie close together within you, and if you can find the courage to balance your powerful mental abilities with a greater openness to your own humanity, you will find that intimate relationship opens doors of a deeper and more profound kind—not just love of one person, but love of people and of life itself. You have built a carefully controlled, detached and tolerant personality, and are adept at understanding another's perspective. But this outer surface is very fragile, and you must expend a considerable amount of energy preserving such a front when your real feelings are bubbling away underneath. Your assessment of your emotional life may be a distorted and overly negative one, and perhaps the parental values in which you were brought up have contributed to your harsh judgement on anything within you which is less than perfect or ideal. You will in the long run be far happier and more fulfilled if you can allow others to see and experience your great emotional sensitivity and depth.
One of the most creative methods which you might use to make better friends with your feelings is the willingness to give more time and space for their expression through channels which you know to be safe—such as writing, painting images of moods or emotional states, working with clay, expressing feelings through music or dance. These very personal pursuits, done for your understanding alone and not for the benefit of an audience, can help you to learn more about yourself, and also help you to see that your feelings are as important and valid as your ideas. Try to say no when you mean no, for the tyranny of "oughts" and "shoulds" over your real needs can only lead to an accumulation of resentment and anger at having to be a civilised and reasonable person all the time. You need to learn love and compassion for yourself first of all, for otherwise your humanitarian and democratic ideals cannot be grounded in your actual life. Because you always seek to understand things from the broadest and clearest perspective possible, you possess the unique ability to find meaning and sense in your own personal dilemmas which are relevant to others and to the human condition in general—and thus have a great gift to offer others, if you can learn to confront your own heart without fear.
III. Character and Shadow
One of the most important insights gained by depth psychology has been the revelation that people are dual in nature, and contain a basic polarity of a conscious and an unconscious self. There is the individual you are familiar with—the "I" that thinks, feels and acts in accustomed ways which you identify as yourself. And there is another, hidden individual—the shadow-side—which contains the less acceptable and less developed aspects of your personality, and which fights for a valued place in your life at the same time that it disrupts the complacency of your self-image. The interplay between the conscious and unconscious sides of you is a constantly shifting dance, changing at different stages of your life and altering according to the pressures and challenges which you encounter. The tension between the primary characters in your inner drama, described in the following paragraphs, is the source of energy which provides your life with movement, purpose, conflict and growth. There are other characters inside you too—supporting players who blend and conflict with the main ones to make you the unique individual you are. Where these are strongly marked in your horoscope, we have included a description of them as well. The story thus portrayed, with its complicated interaction of light and shadow, represents what is really meant by individual destiny.
a. The spirit of eternal youth dominates the stage
Whatever your actual age, there is something in you which will never grow old. Life is a perpetual unfinished novel for you, in which anything could lie around the next corner; and even if you carry considerable worldly responsibilities, you carry them lightly, always feeling as though somehow it isn't yet the real thing, but only a practise run—while the limitless potential within you has yet to be fully actualised. Thus you tend to live a kind of provisional life, never fully contented, never fully arrived. This quality of viewing life as a series of steps toward an unknown future tends to make you restless in the best and worst senses. You will never settle into stagnant complacency dreaming of the glories of your youth, for you carry your youth whithin you and will be receptive to change and new ideas all your life. But you also have a tendency to leave behind those projects and people with which you have become bored, and are therefore inclined to walk away before the fruits of your labours are realised; for the next pasture always seems greener. As the old proverb says, it is better to travel than to arrive—at least, better in your eyes.
b. The craving for unbounded horizons
Freedom means everything to you. The curious thing is that, if you are given enough of it, you are as capable as the next person of living a relatively peaceful life (at least, within limits); for you are not quite as wildly rebellious as you sometimes like to give the impression of being. But it is your restless mind and spirit that seek the freedom to travel the globe, metaphorically at least, in search of bizarre and exotic adventures. You are an easy-going personality, and if left alone with plenty of room to come and go as you wish, you do not try to control or interfere with the lives of others—although there is a mischievous edge in you which enjoys provoking the more staid people in your environment. But let someone try to curtail what you consider your inviolable freedom, and a different and much less charming person emerges. A streak of extreme perversity appears in you, and you are capable of an explosive temper and a lot of sound and fury. It is the idea of being told what to do, the idea of submitting to another's demands, and the idea of unnecessary restrictions which make you madder than a hornet.
You enjoy good heated debates where you can air your provocative views and let off a little steam. You are likely to be knowledgeable about a wide variety of subjects while being deeply versed in none of them. But your broad, far-seeing and intuitive mind is more stimulating to many people than a focussed and concentrated one which lacks vision. Vision, in fact, is a keyword for you, for you possess a lot of it, and find people tiresome and irritating who cannot look beyond their own doorsteps. You also dislike emotional demands when they come your way, for you feel trapped and uncomfortable being made responsible for someone else's happiness. It is the idea of love that appeals to you, and the adventure of romance; but the reality is often a little disappointing, because the moment you are called upon to adjust, compromise and understand another, you start eyeing the distant hills longingly. It is not that you are incapable of love or deep feeling. But your feelings come and go just as your inspirational ideas do, and when they are not there, no force on earth—particularly not another person's emotional demonstrations—will call them forth.
c. Idealism and vision struggle against authority of all kinds
You enjoy kicking at anything which seems to you staid, rigid or antiquated. This can sometimes make you the enemy of authority, and you no doubt have a rather chequered past full of little episodes where you fell foul of the presiding powers in some way. Although time has brought you greater self-control and tolerance, time has not lessened your belief in your right to freedom on the most basic level. You resent being treated like a child by a heavy-handed parent, even if on occasion your behaviour is downright childish. There is a progressive and visionary quality to your thinking which rejects hypocrisy, narrow-mindedness and conventional roles— particularly sexual roles. Your approach to life contains a curious combination of romanticism and cynicism—romantic because you are a perfectionist who believes that life could be better and more meaningful (which means you will never just put up with a situation for the sake of security or conventional morality), and cynical because you have little faith in permanence, particularly in the realm of the heart (which means you will not risk allowing yourself to need others too much). You have a biting and ironic sense of humour, about everything except yourself; and you can be a little too proud and touchy where your own self-image is concerned. Thus, despite the liberality of your ideas, you are capable of considerable intolerance, particularly toward more conservative folk who fail to understand your beliefs and your lifestyle. You are always a little ahead of society, and the things in which you believe will no doubt become generally socially acceptable in twenty years' time—by which time you will have become bored with them and moved on to something else. You are a true visionary, with a broad and universal outlook. But you need to be careful not to imagine yourself a misunderstood genius, for you can be abrupt and impatient if your talents are not immediately acknowledged, or your creative offerings not valued in the marketplace.
d. The problem of excessive self-will
You are wilful and fiercely independent. Having your actions curtailed by conventional expectations or emotional demands can make you extremely angry. You have in you much of the lone explorer, sailing the Atlantic or climbing Everest; but never, never saying, "Yes, dear," when your partner tells you it's time for dinner. You are also a bit of a flirt, not so much because you want a full-blown series of affairs, but because it gives you a feeling of being single, free and potent—especially if you can do it in front of the person who is supposed to be your partner. You have an adventurous spirit and considerable courage, and this may take the form of a love of physical danger (such as a fondness for fast cars or strenuous athletic competitions) or a love of intellectual debate (where you will take a deliberately provocative stance that gets everyone else in the room furious). You are exciting to be with, and give the impression of being rather wild—some of which you act out, and much of which is part of your carefully contrived image of glamour. This quality is an attractive and magnetic facet of your freedom-loving personality. But try to be careful of trampling over the feelings of others in your efforts to convince yourself and others that you are free, for you can sometimes be rather cruel if you believe you are being thwarted or manipulated in any way.
e. The vision of life as an endless set of possibilities
Thus your considerable imaginative and intellectual gifts combine with a restless, volatile personality to produce one of life's eternally wandering spirits. This should not be taken too literally, for you need some material stability in your life as much as anyone does, and would particularly benefit from owning your own home—a place where you can retreat in privacy and express your own taste and style. But you are a wanderer in the inner sense, for you digest experiences and then move on to seek new ones, looking and looking for something—and it is some thing, not some one as you might imagine—which heralds the call of destiny, the sign from above, the recognition that you have at last arrived. The probability is that you will never arrive, for your unique gift and your unique problem are the same: You prefer the journey. Although you have a hard time with self-discipline, commitment, responsibility and authority, you will never find life boring, for you see lessons and opportunities for growth and secret signs everywhere; and the happy thing about such perceptions is that, if you can learn the art of sticking with something long enough to finish it, you can produce relevant and exciting creative products which vindicate your deep sense of your own special destiny.
f. A hidden side that favours traditional values
In contrast to your bright, restless and rebellious conscious personality, there is another protagonist in your inner psychic drama. This hidden figure contains all those qualities which you have excluded from your values and your outer behaviour in order to retain the intellectual, emotional and physical freedom you crave. The shadow-side of your personality is considerably more conventional, conservative and traditional than you might like to admit; and if you consider honestly the sometimes disproportionately negative reactions that you display when confronted with such qualities in other people and in social institutions, you may glimpse within yourself a secret sympathy with these more old-fashioned values. The problem is that you strive to be a rebel, a forward-thinking and unique individualist; and you would have to make peace with a slightly less glossy, glamourous and stereotyped self-image if you are going to integrate your shadow. Yet upon this integration depends your capacity to produce anything really worthwhile with your vision and your talents; and, even more importantly, you need this hidden side of yourself to feel real.
g. The secret craving for respectability
You have what might be called an authority problem, and this problem is in part connected with your childhood and your complex relationship with your father. Something in you has never really quite grown up, because you have been in a state of rebellion against father and father-figures all your life; and although you may elect to express an attitude of contempt and distaste toward materialistic values, social status, and the "good" position in the eyes of the world, you care more about these things than you realise. But you carry certain wounds in the sphere of your acceptability in the eyes of those very authority-figures you seem to condemn; and rather than facing your deep need to be wanted and respected by them, you would prefer, like the fox in the fairy tale about the sour grapes, to pretend that all of it is beneath your higher values anyhow. The thorny problem of class—whether this is connected with the material and social circumstances of your family background or with your secret need to possess that elusive something which smells of money, breeding and good birth—is a very emotive issue for you. You become angry when you see the unmistakable signs of class discrimination around you, yet you are also secretly envious of those who possess class. Your shadow-side has a grudging respect for the self-made person, man or woman, who has paid the world's dues and risen to a high position through sheer dogged effort; yet you are afraid of applying such effort yourself, much as you are capable of it, for you fear failure and are ashamed to admit that it matters to you. You would probably be much happier if you could recognise that condemning something in yourself will not make it go away; and that the qualities of tenacity, realism and self-discipline which you need so much are all contained within the conservative shadow-side of you that you dislike so much. Without these qualities, you may make a lot of noise with your advanced ideas, but will in the end accomplish little, wasting your considerable energies battling what you believe to be the enemy in society when it is really within yourself and far from being an enemy. Facing this hidden side of yourself will not destroy all that is youthful, humanitarian and progressive in your thinking. But it may help you to grow up, so that you do not squander your abilities kicking at your father's closed door for the whole of your life.
h. The need for security and financial stability
You have a well-hidden but powerful fear of being boring. In contrast to the vivacity of thought and expression which characterises your personality, there is a slower, less articulate and more instinctual side of you which desires nothing more than sensual pleasure and the contentment of having your little patch of ground to rest on. Money and the security that money can buy matter far more to you than you might like to admit; but this materialistic shadow is not concerned with status, ambition or making an impact on society. It is more staid and wants merely the pleasure of ownership. The hidden side of you is neither a socialist nor a humanitarian, nor does it aspire toward spiritual enlightenment. This shadow does not like sharing things, and has a grasping quality which hangs on tightly to what you believe is yours. If you remain unconscious of this earthy and deeply conservative dimension of your personality, then you are likely to have all kinds of problems with money; and you are also likely to have problems with those people and ideologies in the world outside which appear to you too "middle-class" or "bourgeois" in nature. And at the same time your own unconscious greed lies hidden within, and may pop up at inopportune moments to contract your self-proclaimed humanitarian and spiritual vision. You also need much more stability than you allow, since the traditional forms in which that stability is usually found contradict your freedom-loving, rebellious spirit. You are more likely to seek a partner who embodies the slower, more traditional values that you reject in yourself, and then complain that he or she is boring. You may need to find a way to retain your dreams while at the same time admitting your own more basic needs. Otherwise you run the risk of becoming a hypocrite, professing enlightened views but secretly envying anyone who has built anything more solid in life than you have. Your earthy shadow has enormous strength, patience and realism to offer, and even if it seems boring in the sense of lacking the bright fire of creative vision, you possess enough imagination already. What you need is a body, and some rootedness in the earth; and these things are contained in your shadow.
i. The need for accepting mortal limits
Thus your eternally youthful spirit, with its vivacity, restlessness and originality, is balanced by an equally important but hidden side of you which is slower, earthier, less articulate, and considerably more traditional and ordinary. You fear displaying your shadow-side to others partly because its values are so different from yours; and partly because you are frightened of being rejected and thought boring and ordinary. Because of your unease in the face of real material challenges, you fly up into the realm of potentials, living in a kind of perennial "One day when I grow up…" dream-world. But much of this flight masks your fear of failure and incompetence in the eyes of the world. You are a gifted and far-seeing individual who can truly achieve something extraordinary. But you will need to accept some of the rules and limits of ordinary life, including your own needs; for life will not, in the end, exempt you. No matter how talented you are, and how special, you are subject to the same conflicts, fears and needs—particularly of security and belonging—as your fellows. When you are able to truly accept your own limits, you are likely to find much greater inner serenity.
j. Powerful emotional needs lie hidden in the shadow
There is second dimension to the darker side of your usually independent and restless emotional nature. This dimension of your personality comes into play whenever you become deeply and intimately involved with another person; and it contains all those qualities which you have excluded from your conscious values and behaviour so that you can preserve your feeling of freedom. Probably, because you tend to repress your own emotional needs, you meet them via your lovers and partners, who appear to you possessive, dependent, extremely sensitive to the least sign of rejection and indifference, and prone to using emotional blackmail to retain your constant attention. But these attributes in fact belong to your own shadow. You fear the depth and intensity of your feelings, because admission of them might leave you vulnerable to hurt and humiliation, and too much dependency might trap you so that your imagination and your high-flying spirit cannot breathe. Yet if you do not integrate this shadow, you will never be able to sustain the loving relationship you crave; and the easy replacements may not always be available to you as time goes by.
k. The secret longing for being taken care of
You need constancy and security in your life to a very great degree, but you do not like others to see this need because it might put you too firmly in the power of your loved ones. Somewhere within you lies a sensitive and easily hurt child, who longs for good mothering from either sex, and fears being lonely and neglected. Thus your shadow is not at all independent, and although it is usually you who are heard asking for more space within a relationship, it is also you who secretly finds it difficult to provide this space for your partner. Your shadow operates on a kind of emotional double standard, just as a child does. You want to be able to go off and play; but you also want your loved one to be there loyally waiting like a good parent with a hug and a cup of tea when you feel like coming back again. If he or she is not immediately available, then you are capable of becoming extremely sulky and offended; but because your shadow-side is usually so unconscious, you often do not even know what sort of atmosphere you are producing out of your sense of neglect and injury. Rather, you are more likely to withdraw and be cool and rejecting yourself for a while as a species of retaliation, without even knowing that you are doing it. Thus the eternal youth becomes an eternal baby, and it would be far better for you and your relationships if you could face honestly your need for love and support. This might allow you to appreciate more the needs of others, and might also help you to see that they need as much space and freedom as you do. You nurture a fantasy of specialness which dictates that you are entitled to nurturing and support but should not be expected to offer it when your mind is preoccupied with Higher Things. Try not to project your own perfectly normal and healthy emotional needs onto others; for you may otherwise run the risk of having to learn the hard way that you too are vulnerable—through the hurtful experience of a loved one's rejection of you and the subsequent discovery that closeness is just as important to you as freedom.
l. The problem of jealousy and possessiveness
Although you might hate to admit it, or even acknowledge it, you are actually an extremely jealous and possessive person. Your emotional needs are far deeper and more intense than you habitually show; and where there is such powerful attachment, there will inevitably also be possessiveness. Generally it is you who complain about a partner's jealousy, and you are prone to unconsciously setting up triangles and forcing two people into competition with each other over you, and then becoming resentful when either of them becomes angry about it. No one can own another person, you declare; and you dislike having to account for your time or having your actions curtailed by obligations to another. Yet secretly you try to possess those close to you, for you want them to be totally yours and available constantly according to your own needs. For this reason you also do not close the door on past relationships, claiming that there is no reason why you should be required to give up a friendship just because your present partner is jealous; but secretly enjoying the fantasy that you could still have that other too if you wanted him or her.
What this amounts to, on the most profound level, is that you need to have power over your loved ones, because you fear the powerlessness that comes from your own intense feelings. If a loved one were to behave with the same flirtatious inconstancy that you yourself display, or asked for the absolute freedom you demand, you are capable of quite violent emotional eruptions. You tend to protect yourself from your own depths by simply not caring all that much. After all, everything is provisional anyway. But perhaps some time you should put it to the test. Your shadow holds the key to your own deep and abiding capacity for love; and you need to be able to be more honest in expressing it. It is probable that during your early life you were deeply attached to your mother, and that she inadvertently used your devotion to further her own need for emotional comfort. You are therefore frightened of having your love of another used as a means of power, and thus turn around and unconsciously do the very same thing to the people who love you. But perhaps it is time to leave your mother behind, and to live more freely what you truly are: a dynamic and creative spirit who also possesses powerful emotional and sensual desires and a deep need for enduring and intimate relationship with a special person in your life.
m. The importance of accepting the needs of the heart
Thus your hidden shadow-side tends to invade the realm of your personal relationships, and focuses itself around the issues of possessiveness, need, obligation and fear of loneliness. If you find that you are the one to leave relationships because you become trapped and stifled, or are perennially complaining to a long-term partner that you want more space and freedom, try to look at what you yourself might be unconsciously doing to generate the problem. You have a rich and complex personality which combines an unusual degree of intellectual and imaginative scope with an intense and passionate emotional nature; and since both belong to you, both deserve to be expressed and lived. Because you fear dependency so much, you tend to project your own shadow-side onto your partners and lovers and even children and work colleagues; and when you imagine that any of these people are asking for too much from you, you tend to react with a coolness and evasiveness that are extremely hurtful. Worse, such a reaction tends to draw out of others that insecure possessiveness that you profess to despise; for if you constantly keep a person unsure of your love and support, he or she will almost always become frightened, uncertain and demanding. Thus you force others to act out what you cannot face in yourself. Your needy shadow is not negative. It makes you human, and gives you a heart. If you were nothing but an eternal youth, full of bright ideals and wanderlust, you would be a callous and unfeeling creature; but fortunately, such creatures exist only in myth. There is no doubt of the power of your sparkling and creative spirit. But you are also made of flesh and blood, and need to let others see it occasionally. Not everyone is like your mother, and not everyone you love will use the knowledge against you to extract promises you cannot keep. No one can own your soul but you—a concept which you profess to understand, but which you may still need to really grasp by allowing someone close enough to try.
Another pair of important characters
The characters described so far represent in their fundamental antagonism the main theme of your inner story. Besides these figures, there is another pair of conflicting figures indicated in your birth chart which are likely to be recognisable in your life. These figures are briefly described in the following paragraphs.
n. The power of a clear and logical mind
Although you are no doubt too rational to attribute mystical origins and powers to the mind, reason is virtually a god to you. You tend to think in clear, well-organised patterns, and possess the ability to view any situation from a detached perspective and dissect it into its component parts so that its structure and dynamics shine through. You have a way of cutting through others' mental and emotional fog to get at the truth, and thus you are often the one to whom others turn when they need clarity, objectivity and direction. You are rarely to be found in an emotional muddle yourself, for you constantly analyse your feelings and if necessary simply disconnect from them if they threaten to trouble you too much. You are a great believer in the healing power of objective thought, and are convinced that if only human beings could be more reasonable, more in control of their chaotic emotions and more capable of an impersonal viewpoint, life would be so much better, cleaner and brighter.
Quickness of perception, dexterity of thinking, intelligence and clarity are therefore the visible gifts of your controlled and detached nature. It is through the power of ideas that humanity progresses, and this you know and wholeheartedly encourage; and it is ideas of all kinds that fascinate you and occupy your considerable energies. Truth, whether pragmatically provable or accessible through the paths of logic, means more to you than any personal emotional gratification. This makes you a distinctive and striking personality, for you do not just live life blindly; you strive to understand it, and in understanding it, improve it. You cannot comprehend mental stagnation or lack of curiosity in people, for your own mind never stands still. Ultimately life will challenge you about your definitions of truth, for there are things in the universe which will always defy your quest for a rational explanation. One of these is your own soul, and the mystery that it contains. But belief in souls does not enter into your mental landscape—at least, not unless you have been invaded and broken open by a profound inner experience of the irrational, which you would then immediately attempt to explain.
o. The dangers of a too rational mind
In contrast to this logical and self-controlled nature which you habitually show the world, there is another protagonist in your inner psychic drama; and this hidden side embraces the unfathomable world of your dreams, your fantasies, your hidden mystical leanings, and your troublesome emotions. In your quest for truth and a definition of reality which obeys coherent structures, you have to a great extent suppressed or analysed out of consciousness your more romantic leanings. Romantic in this context does not mean sentimental; rather, it implies a vision of life which places as a first cause the irrational and inexplicable soul of nature itself, alive and sentient and full of purpose. In short, your gifts, which offer so much to the world and to other people, have been purchased at the expense of a living connection with your own soul; and that soul now lies in shadow, needing greater integration in your life.
Your shadow-side will lead you into secret gullibility and a tendency to become blindly infatuated with some very inappropriate objects, if you do not permit it entry into your life to soften and vitalise your highly structured thinking. The disintegration you fear will then assault you from outside, for such infatuations—whether they are love-affairs or religious conversions—tend to swamp and erode everything in their path, including things in your life which are of great value to you. Paradoxically, the more rational you try to be, the more irrational your behaviour becomes. You have the potential gift of a rich blend of clear insight and great sensitivity of feeling and intuition. The latter does not have to distort or destroy the former. It is possible for the scientist to see in the physical form which he or she studies the visible imprint of the invisible world, and the sacred in the midst of the profane; and without this sense of the sacred, the work becomes arid, meaningless and futile. You too have a soul, although you might not believe in such things. Try to make friends with it, for souls become carnivorous if they remain too long unacknowledged.
IV. The Family Background
a. Family myths and psychological inheritance
Although you are an individual, you have emerged from a family background. A family is like a living organism, and it includes certain hereditary characteristics which have passed down through the generations. It also contains a particular set of psychological dynamics, an emotional climate which provides the first soil in which your nascent individuality took root in childhood. Thus you contain certain inner patterns, myths and attitudes toward life which you have acquired from the psychological soil of your family background. In other words, to return to our metaphor of the theatre, the characters in your inner drama are unique; but they carry a family inheritance.
Astrology cannot tell us about physical heredity. But it can tell us a great deal about psychological heredity, which runs through families in the same way that red hair or blue eyes do. Psychological inheritance of deeply rooted attitudes often takes place on hidden, unconscious levels of which individual family members are unaware. Family myths move down the generations as surely as a distinctive facial structure does. An example of a family myth might be: "All the men in this family have been self-made and successful." Or, "All the women in this family have been disappointed by their men." Myths such as these do not need to be spoken, or even recognised, for they pass from one generation to the next via the unconscious, and they are communicated in a multitude of subtle, nonverbal ways. Thus the male child born into the family of "successful" men will inherit a particular set of expectations to which he will respond according to his own nature and his own inner characters. And the female child born into the family of "disappointed women" will inherit certain attitudes about relationships which will affect her later in life if she remains unaware of this inner script.
Because your family background is an integral part of your life story, it is reflected in your birth horoscope. Astrology can offer considerable helpful insight into this realm of life, for according to how conscious you are of the interplay between your own nature and your family inheritance, you will have more or less freedom of choice in life. Your parents themselves are also reflected in your horoscope, although they appear not as real three-dimensional people, but rather as images who embody a particular theme or set of attitudes. These parental images reflect how mother and father appear to you personally, how they operate as patterns within your own psyche, and how they support or conflict with the unfoldment of your own inner drama. The power of the family background should never be underestimated, for it is not the past. It is a living present within each of us. As the poet Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote:"Never believe fate is more than the condensation of childhood."
b. The image of the father in a man's chart
Father is not only a real person. He is also the symbol of an inner pattern or perspective through which you relate to life. The image of your father portrayed in your birth horoscope therefore describes three things.
Firstly, it is a subjective picture of the qualities you experienced as most dominant in your relationship with your father—or whoever played the role of father in your early life. Secondly, it is a symbol of what the masculine represents to you, for your father was the first man in your life and is therefore a powerful unconscious influence on how you express your own masculinity and how you relate to other men. Thirdly, it is a picture of your own inner father-qualities: how you order and structure your life, how you envisage and pursue your goals, how you actualise your potentials in the world, how you express and direct your will, and how you formulate your ethical codes and ideals; and, lastly, how you father your own children.
c. An experience of emotional alienation
The subjective image of your father which is portrayed in your birth horoscope is a potent and ambivalent one. A feeling of alienation coloured your relationship with him—either because of a physical separation, or because you experienced his personality as too detached, intellectual, cool or unresponsive to allow you to get close to him. He probably enthusiastically encouraged your mental development while remaining aloof from your emotional and physical need of him, and you may therefore have felt rejected on a deep personal level. His high standards of achievement and perfection and his lack of regard for your ordinary human needs—especially those of affection and warmth—have exercised a powerful unconscious influence on your own values.
d. The compensation of high ideals
Thus your experience of your father was not very warm or supportive of your instinctual nature in early life, although in compensation you have inherited high ideals and an aspiration toward knowledge and intellectual excellence which form an enormously creative dimension of your personality. This aloof and idealistic father-image lies within you, and offers considerable vision and originality. But you will need to be careful not to identify with your father's high ideals to the point where you become ashamed of being human, of occasionally failing, or of expressing emotional needs which your father might have found uncomfortable—not because of your unworthiness, but because of his own fears. Your love of the clear, broad world of creative thought can take you far in life, and you have a unique capacity for a detached and objective observation of life and great insight into human behaviour. The creative potential of this cool, brilliant father-image within you is very great; but it needs to be contained within your own individual human values.
There is still another image portrayed by your birth horoscope, which in certain ways conflicts with your dominant experience of your father.
e. Hidden anger and suppressed violence
Your father seems to have possessed a powerful and passionate shadow-side which contradicts the softer or more aloof qualities you have seen in him. This shadow-side is wilful, aggressive and angry—full of competitive spirit and resentful at having to compromise with anyone else's needs and wishes. It is probably that your father did not display such qualities openly or consistently, either because his personality was too peaceable and fearful of conflict, or because he was rigidly controlled by ethics and opinions that did not permit him acceptance of his own animal nature. Thus, you may be partly or completely unconscious of this dimension of your father's personality, and you may therefore not understand the effects it has had on your own life; for you have inherited your father's dilemma. In particular, you too fear anger and aggressive feelings, and you have a tendency to be too equable and eager to please others who attempt to dominate you.
f. Dealing with your own aggression
It is important that you understand this aggressive and self-willed face of your father, for it is also within you. You possess great force of character, passion and determination which could, expressed creatively, take you far in life. You have within you the potential of a natural leader. But your father was split within himself, and you now face the challenge of learning to handle your aggression in a way which is balanced with your need for emotional harmony. Because this shadow-side of your father is also a strongly sensual one, it is important that you face your passions honestly for the sake of your own physical fulfillment; for you may be afraid of the power of your desires because your father was afraid of his and therefore did not provide you with a positive model of self-acceptance. If you can recognise and make a relationship with the aggressive instincts within yourself, you can achieve most of the things you desire in life; and you will also have healed a split which existed in the fabric of your family long before your own birth.
g. The image of the mother in a man's chart
Mother, like father, is not only a person. She is the symbol of an essential principle in life, and of an inner dynamic or perspective through which we relate to life. The image of the mother portrayed in your birth horoscope therefore describes three things. Firstly, it is a subjective description of the qualities most dominant in your relationship with your mother. Many of these will be known to you, but some might be surprising, because they reflect not only her outer behaviour, but her inner life—that side of her which was unexpressed and therefore of great power in terms of its effects on you. Secondly, the mother-image in your horoscope is a portrait of what the feminine represents to you—how you experience women, and how you relate to the emotional and instinctual dimensions of your own personality. And thirdly, it is a picture of your own "maternal" qualities—for men possess mothering capacities too—your ability to nurture and care for yourself and others, your sense of safety and trust in life's essential kindness, and your ability to flow with time and circumstances and to know instinctively when to wait and accept with wisdom the situations which life brings.
h. A figure of powerful emotional needs
The subjective image of your mother portrayed in your birth horoscope is a powerful and pervasive one. She was probably the dominant parent in terms of psychological influence in your childhood—even if she appeared the more submissive in outer behaviour. It is on the emotional level that your mother's power was rooted, and she had the capacity to influence the feeling atmosphere of your early life through moods and through what she did not, rather than she did, say and do. Whatever her behavioural inhibitions, she was probably at heart a passionate and emotionally demanding woman, capable of enormous loyalty and equally capable of enormous resentment if she was denied the emotional food she craved.
i. Unhappiness, frustration and resentment
There is much in this mother-image which is extremely creative, for it represents a richness and depth of feeling, and a great capacity for endurance and self-sacrifice in the face of disappointment, which lie within you and which give you immense inner strength and courage. The problem is that your mother was probably deeply unhappy and unsatisfied in her emotional needs, and she carried great resentment and even depression or despair inside her. The more this was masked, the more profound its effect on you, for you may have within you an inexplicable but deep mistrust of life and of love—particularly love in a committed relationship.
You have a certain fear of being dominated or manipulated by the women in your life, for you tend to see your mother in them. Probably your mother's marriage was a disappointment to her, and this has communicated itself to you as an unconscious expectation of grief, sadness and disappointment in any important emotional transaction with another, either your own or your partner's. You will need to look with honesty and compassion at this darker dimension of your mother, for otherwise you run the risk of bringing this inherited bitterness into your own relationships. You are prone to feeling resentful and aggrieved sometimes without real justification, while at the same time you may yourself avoid deep commitment because of the fear that you will wind up like your mother or that you will be devoured by a partner in the way your mother unconsciously fed off the members of her family to give her own life meaning.
If you can understand that deep feelings do not necessarily result in pain and frustration, and that your mother on some level best known to herself chose to remain in a situation which made her unhappy, then you can learn to trust your own powerful emotional needs. Your feeling nature is a gift, not a curse, and it will not immediately drag you into unhappiness if you learn to depend on another; and if you can separate your own life experience from the powerful image of your mother you can begin to draw from the positive dimensions of this quality which you share with her—strength of heart, and profound compassion for the pain of others.
There is still another image portrayed by your birth horoscope, which in certain ways conflicts with the experience of your mother described previously.
j. A mother living through her son
However passive or undeveloped your mother may have seemed, she was far stronger than you have probably realised, and possessed considerable creative potential and individuality which, sadly, were never fully expressed. Because of this, she turned to her children to live out for her the meaning and success she missed, and therefore you no doubt meant everything to her—to the extent where you were expected to become a kind of vessel for her unlived life. This binds you closely to her in ways which you need to be more conscious of, for your talents and ambitions need to be lived according to your own values and your own sense of timing; yet you run the risk of feeling compulsively driven to achieve something great in the eyes of the world in order to redeem your mother's life and to feel worthwhile.
k. Unlived creative potential
You have inherited the distinctive individuality and creative power of your mother, although you may not yet have fully developed it; and you need to live this in your own highly unique way. Try to separate your goals from an unconscious identification with hers, for you may be placing too much importance on recognition in the eyes of others—the product of an early life where your existence became an extension of your mother's, and where her unlived creative drive focussed on you as her best creation. You are entitled to be an ordinary mortal, although something in your mother's unconscious wanted you to be semi-divine; and although your own considerable ambition is worthy of pursuing, it is not worth the cost of submerging your identity to become what others—and your mother—require of you.
V. Relationship Patterns
Relationships are among the most mysterious, rewarding and frustrating of all human experiences. Both astrology and psychology teach us that nothing that occurs within a relationship is chance—neither its beginning, nor its fluctuations and conflicts, nor its ending. But astrology cannot say whether you are "fated" to have a good or a bad marriage, or whether you ought to be with a Cancer or a Sagittarius. Your birth horoscope describes what you are like inside, and therefore what kind of patterns, needs and compulsions you are likely to bring into your relationships with others. You cannot become somebody different, or send in your birth horoscope and request a new set of character. But you can be more or less conscious; and you always have the freedom to look at your own issues, to deal with needs which are your responsibility and not your partner's, and to respond to both joy and pain in creative ways.
The following paragraphs describe your attitudes, needs, and typical patterns in close relationships. This description is written about you in terms of your dealings with the woman in your life. However, if you are involved in a close relationship with someone of your own sex, you will find that the same attitudes, needs and patterns still apply. Whatever your sexual tastes, you are yourself—and it is your inner nature which ultimately dictates the course of your love-life.
a. The art of distinguishing women from mother
Your tendency to fall in love with an ideal fantasy rather than a real woman causes you to be perennially dissatisfied in your relationships—even if you have managed to hold together a conventional marriage for many years. You tend to be rather fascinating to women because of your elusiveness and vision, and you may frequently find yourself the unwilling object of others' pursuit. But you are deeply frightened of your emotional needs, fearing the dependency and vulnerability which deep commitment might unleash; and thus you struggle against your capacity for intense love, projecting onto your partner what is in fact your own tendency to be possessive and demanding. Try to stop disowning your own feelings; for the kind of women you are drawn to are usually those with large hearts and deep understanding, and you cannot eternally play games with such a woman by pretending to be more callous than you in fact are. Not all woman are like your mother, and not all will attempt to bind and manipulate you and devour your soul if you express simple human needs.
b. The need for emotional honesty
You are capable of driving almost any woman into insecure and possessive behaviour if you withhold affection at the critical moment, or if you play one woman against another. This is not a reflection of women's incurable voraciousness, but rather, a reflection of your own internal conflict. If you truly wish to be free of commitment, then try to be honest enough to live by that decision, and stop stringing women along. If you want marriage, or a loyal and monogamous relationship, then try to be brave enough to face your own problems rather than trying to have your cake and eat it too; for as Confucius said, He who tries to have cake and eat it too winds up with egg on face.
c. Hidden undercurrents beneath the surface of love
Things seem to happen to you in your personal life over which you appear to have no control, and which cause you deep unhappiness or frustration. Whether you have experienced loss or separation that has been forced upon you, or tend to become involved with women who are far more difficult and complicated than you expect, it is important that you understand the complex nature of your own needs in love; for you sometimes have an overly naive or simplistic view of relationship. Something in you craves an experience of depth and transformation through love which is not generally included in conventional definitions of the subject; and in spite of yourself you are fascinated by deep women who have had to struggle in life and who will challenge you and force you into exploring the hidden undercurrents that are at work beneath the surface of any partnership. In short, you need to become more aware of the unconscious dimension of love, which is the stuff of Russian novels and Greek tragedy, and is full of darker and more primitive emotions such as hatred, possession, envy and the desire to have power over the loved one. These more primitive facets of the human heart are not pathological; but they are certainly not part of the fairy-tale model of living happily ever after, nor part of any high-minded sociological vision which does not take the bestial dimension of human passions into account. You have great depth to your feelings, and your love is not always nice, kind, conventional or altruistic. If you cannot face and express some of these rich facets of yourself, you may unconsciously choose women who act them out for you—and who wind up causing you pain. Try to be more subtle and sophisticated both in your definitions of love and in the kind of relationships you create in your life. You will not find a model for the sort of partnership you need in a ladies' magazine or a political tract.
d. A tendency to excess
Your motto in love is that more is better. This means more romance, more candlelight, more courtly declarations of affection, and, perhaps, more partners. You may justify your profligacy by means of an ideology which says that people should not possess each other, or a spiritual vision which says that you need the right soul-mate, or an aesthetic ideal which tells you that your present companion is not quite perfect. Or you may simply be honest about your love of variety. But you are going to have certain difficulties if you make the decision to commit yourself to one woman for a lifetime. It is not that you cannot love; for, if anything, you love to excess, and throw your whole self into it. But you crave adventure too, and you are deeply idealistic about love; and time and familiarity are the enemies of such a romantic spirit. No relationship, however passionate, will automatically remain mysterious and challenging if you do not nurture its unpredictability by frequent holidays and travel with your woman, frequent absences from the domestic front with its endless responsibilities, and frequent admonitions to yourself not to take your partner for granted. Otherwise you might be faithful from a sense of honour and idealism, but not from real inclination. It would be better to be honest about your own restlessness, for there are many levels on which your adventurous spirit can be lived out, and some of them can include a stable relationship and do not necessitate deceit and betrayal. But it would be better not to repress this side of yourself, for then you are really asking for trouble. You are more prone than many people to falling in love at first sight, at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and with someone other than the person with whom you came in the door.
VI. Paths Toward Integration
As you have seen from the preceding pages, your birth horoscope offers a detailed and in-depth portrait of many aspects of your life. It is also possible to step further back from the horoscope, and to use the faculties of a telescope rather than a microscope—so that an overview of the play comes into focus. The following provide also some suggestions of ways in which conscious effort might make it possible for you to achieve greater harmony between the different components within yourself, and to strengthen that centre of the personality which psychology calls the ego, the "I". Free will may not include the possibility of becoming somebody else. But it might include the ability to stand firmly at the centre of your horoscope and feel related to the different aspects of your psyche, rather than wandering about blindly, feeling impotent and victimised by conflicting cross-currents and impulses from within yourself and from the world outside. Two people may have certain astrological configurations which are similar, but one might be buffeted by his or her inner demons like a rudderless small boat tossed on a difficult sea; while the other individual remains somehow solid and real as a person and can therefore navigate the boat intelligently through the ocean's changing currents.
a. The need for high professional aims
Your fulfillment in life can only come from your taking up the challenge of making your mark on the world. There is considerable ambition in you, and this could work as a powerful goad to drive you into making the maximum use of your talents to achieve success. You need to feel that you have risen above the background into which you were born, and that you will be able to leave behind you some permanent contribution which has earned you respect and recognition from your colleagues if not from a larger public. You have a deep desire for validation from a circle wider than your family and friends; and you will not obliterate this desire by hiding behind the light of a successful partner, or pretending that such things do not matter to you. They do. You need to feel that you are serving the collective through expressing your own individual gifts.
Your determination to live your life according to your own rules can be a great help in supporting your ambitions. Everything that you create bears the stamp of your individuality, and success will therefore be satisfying to you not only on a material level, but also as a symbol of collective validation of your personal vision. You more than anyone can thoroughly enjoy the fruits of success, because you thrive on the feeling that there is no one in the world like you, and no one who could have achieved what you have. With little compromise of your own standards and principles, you are certainly likely to make your mark.
The more energy you put into building a vocation which can earn you a place in the limelight, the more you will satisfy your inner sense of a unique destiny. It might be argued that, because you want recognition for narcissistic reasons, you have fantasised a special destiny. But it might be equally true to suggest that you do indeed have a task to perform in the world; and until you discover it and discharge this obligation to your own soul, you will not find any real sense of meaning and purpose to your life.
b. Developing confidence in self-expression
There is one area of life where any effort to develop yourself will always result in an increased feeling of strength and self-respect, because this is the sphere of both your greatest anxiety and, paradoxically, your greatest potential. Whatever you do, you need to do it according to your own vision, style and taste. In other words, you need to find the courage to express the whole of yourself—facing your natural shyness, your fear that you will be mocked or ridiculed, and your deep conviction that what you have to offer cannot possibly be as interesting as the creative contributions of others. If you can make this effort as much as possible, even in the midst of anxiety and discomfort, you will discover that your confidence and faith in yourself grow considerably each time you try—even if you do not always succeed the first time around.
Thus one of your great fears—of expressing your individuality and having it rejected or ridiculed—can become the indestructible base from which you launch your talents to achieve the recognition you seek. For in taking the risk of offering what is truly your own rather than what is borrowed or safe, and in subsequently finding that you can survive disappointment and public criticism, you will learn that only when you are true to your own vision do you feel most alive, most fulfilled and most in touch with a sense that your life has meaning and worth.